My lie...

The thing has been sorted up a little so maybe in a few days I can tell my friends the whole truth, but there's this feeling of afraid. I think I've lied too much. Well, not fully lying but people had sent me their support...somehow it's just weird if suddenly I told the truth. It's not as BIG as they might think and I can say that they might disappointed.

Anyway, I warned you, don't be surprised and well, I'm not fully lying so forgive me...

- so damn guilty -

The story of my life

This post is dedicated to those who want to know what happen recently.

I can't tell the whole story but, 1 thing that I can say is: We're not breaking up because of 3rd person or such. Shit just happen, and that's that.
Okay, maybe that's not really clear but I can't tell much. I will have to sort out this problem first. Later on, I will upload it in this blog.

Remember, we DO NOT break up because we wanted to but we HAVE TO.

= so sad cause the skirt is too tight. maybe a few days of diet will do? =

It's weird

Somehow everything seems so weird. In relationship = in contact is just an obligation, just friend = somehow I feel like contacting you. Human is so complicated.

Lately, I've been thinking. The more I think, the more I have negative thoughts. The burden that I have become heavier as I continued to lie. Is this the correct decision? I don't know. Few things that I think I can be sure of are:
1. he never lies to me, therefore I can try to believe him
2. his mental is not strong
3. his life is so mixed up
4. I am a strong girl
5. I am a stupid girl
6. I am a naive girl
7. I am clueless
8. I have a lot of good friends therefore I can be strong.

- Though I know I lie, though I know I cannot speak the truth, thank you for everybody's kindness -

= Not in happy mood but not sad at all =

'cause I know I can be strong

Overcoming 1 of the things that I feared the most is not as hard as I thought. 2 days crying and...puff....I felt nothing. Honestly, in a sense, I think I'm being to indifferent but maybe that's because we have a silly reason for breaking up. I kept thinking that the reason is just.....so strange that I feel so angry. I wanted to pour my anger to him but I can't do that. I wanted to tell him that he is so weak but I know it's not his fault. If I was in the same situation, I might do the same or might not. I almost never let my feeling of anger and disappointment hinder my brain when it comes to study. Maybe that's what keeping me from failing my subjects (exception for DWDS). Anyway, I can't blame him for everything because I WAS the cause of his failure in the first place. Somewhere in my heart, my weak mind keep telling me that he has no feeling for me anymore but I tried to ignore it. I know it'll make thing worse, at least for me it will. I was scared, I was hurt, I was disappointed but I can do nothing. I let him do whatever he want. If everything can't be fixed, then so be it. I will try to accept it...cause I know...I am strong...and even if I am weak, I will try to be strong...

- I thank Mr. Sunshine for his kindness -
- I thank Isacc and Otou-sama for their attention for me -

- Still not in the best mood but better than yesterday ;) -

Shit happen in my life

Broke up, those are 2 simple words that I believe I will never have in my life, but...shit does happen. I broke up....

I cried...

I cried...

AND I cried...

Honestly, I'm so damn hurt. When he told me that, I felt a hammer was hitting my head. I don't believe it. WHOEVER (and I believe that you guys, my friends will) read this, please just don't ask me why, unless u wanna see me cry in front of u!! (I'm giving u a warning!)

= I curse those assholes who made us break up! =

= in shitty mode =

Do you know me?

Hancur image w *nangis darah* gara2 crazy dog, alias dog no.4! Emank sich w rada emosian waktu bicara n kalo w uda 'lepas kontrol' w bakalan ngomong nonsense, tapi w ngak nyangka bakalan bisa terkenal. Haruskah w bangga??? Kayaknya sich w terkenal sebagai orang menakutkan. Noooooo!!!!! *teriakan hati*
Sebenarnya w merasa yg gw bilang tuh biasa2 aja sich, tapi ntah kenapa yg lain tidak berpikir begitu. Ah...hancurlah sudah image anak baikku... *macamnya benar aja :P*

Beberapa hari yg lalu Feli datang n tentu saja tujuan utama pastinya DDR XD. Di sunway, w ketemu 1 cowo jago maen DDR. Pas w fail di lagunya "A" yg level 8 (heavy mode) dia dgn sengaja ngambil lagu yg sama. Sok banget. Emank sih dia bisa pass tapi kan ngak perlu pamer gt. Parah deh...

Ahhhhh kenapa minggu2 terakhir ini situasinya parah2 m'ulu!!!!!! Stresssssss

= butet in stress mode =